


More Than Just the Heart

by orphan_account



Series: 2nd POV Drabbles [9]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 03:52:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5232935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He means so much more to you than he could ever imagine</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than Just the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> hey look it’s another “iris is sad and pretentious” drabble

He means so much more to you than he could ever imagine. You say “I love you” all the time but there are no words to describe the warmth in your chest when he hugs you, the complete happiness when he texts you.

The urge to run away and cry when he tells you how much you mean to him.

It scares you. You’ve never had a friendship like this before, you’ve never felt like you wanted to jump into someone and never let them go, never felt like you belonged somewhere.

You’ve never wanted something to consume you before.

But you don’t feel like you deserve him. There’s a voice in your head, saying, “He’s better off without you,” and another saying, “Never let him go,” and both make you feel selfish because he’s not yours.

He keeps telling you that it’s okay, but all you can think is that it’s not, because he doesn’t know the extent of the monster raging inside of you.

Sometimes you feel even more selfish. You think about what people would do, would feel, if you died. You think about your parents, your sister, and him. And you realise that you’d want to be alive, just so he would feel okay.

And telling him that makes you feel so selfish, because what if it makes him feel obligated to stay, what if he’s on here out of pity? He tells you he’s not, but you’re not sure if you can believe him, because you don’t deserve him.

But, there’s a video on your cell that makes you want to believe him. It’s a few months old, from back in the summer when you met up for the first time in a while, and you had to stop and watch him because you’d forgotten how much his presence hits you.

He’s laughing in the video, looking up at you, standing behind the camera and it takes your breath away every time you see it because he looks at you like you’re the most important thing in the world. And maybe, you think, maybe it’ll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> well that’s a thing. i’m not expecting anyone to read it tbh but [cafephan](http://cafephan.tumblr.com) convinced me to post it so here we are
> 
> [my tumblr](http://demisexualhowell.tumblr.com)


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